Oh, Moscow.

First off, thank you to whoever reads these. I was looking back at posts, and I write a lot. I hope it's intereting.

This morning we had a joint movement class with the other group. We did all of the same exercise, but with 24 people instead of 12, and in an hour and a half. Everything was compacted. It's so exciting to see the results I am getting everytime I go into class. We go every other day, but I'm still improving so much within that day off, without consciously doing anything. It's crazy, but so cool and exciting. You're going to freak when you see me do some of this stuff. Movement went really well. Our final exam/final class is Saturday.

Next, we had the final singing class with both groups combined. We began with a warm up and then jumped right into the showcase. Everyone performed the song they have been working on throughout the month. Some songs were divided into three people to work on, or two people. The would split the verses and make it a duet or whatever, and some had solos. I sang the song "For You, For Me, Forever More." It was definitely the best I had sang it thus far. At one point I grabbed Marina, the vocal instructor, and we swayed and danced to it. It was a lot of fun. I was really impressed with everyone that sang today. So many people improved immensely. I know I've learnd a bit about myself and singing, as well.

Acting was cool. So, I did my individual Chekhov etude from The Seagull today. I did the scene at the end of Act IV where Konstantin is offstage and shoots himself. I knew it was risky and could be a complete failure, but i wanted to explore idea of him going in to kill himself, deciding not to, and then the irony of the gun going off and killing him by accident. Etudes are a great means to explore and discover and possibly uncover answers and developments in stories or in characters. I began be rushing in because Nina had just told me she didn't love me. I ran to the drawer, pulled out the gun, sat at the table, held it to my my jaw, closed my eyes really tight. I opened them and saw out the window the lake. I put the gun down and walked towards the window. The lake calmed me and I decided not to kill myself. I went back to the table, grabbed the gun and went to put it in the drawer when it went off and shot myself in the stomach. I slowly died.

Some of the comments were that it was comedic...it is comedic. The irony of him going to kill himself, deciding not to, and then it going off by accident. It makes sense because he tried to kill himself in Act I, but didn't succeed there either. I wanted to explore this because all it says at the end of the play is that he shoots himself. I thought it left it open ended. He could have shot himself, but still been ok, but everyone assumes he dies. That was another route I was going to take; what if he didn't die? So interesting and so analytical. The etude ended up not being a failure and also not being a success, but I don't regret doing it. I was told it was one of my strongest performances, it was truthful, it raised even more questions because it is very possible that this would happen but no one ever thinks of it, and my imagination was flowing and creating beautiful images - work of a true artist. That stuff meant a lot to me because it was just me going out on a whim and trying something that irked me to go further into it.

Tonight we went to the Russian Circus. I asked Mariana if it is a respected profession because it isn't exactly looked up to in America. She said that Russians are obsessed with the circus. They love it and the performers; it's such a part of Russian tradition. There was this crazy contortionist woman would have her feet by her ears and used them as hands, it was weird, but interesting. Acribatic people in the air barely hanging by anything which was scary, poodles doing dog tricks, a couple clowns, dancing on horses. What I really noticed was how much insane gymnastics was used during almost all of the acts. The whole show was conducted in a theatrical aspect from the lights to the sets to the costumes, the intervals, the storyline. It was in a stationary theatre of its own, also, and was built in like 1886. The circus was very different from anything we've seen, but very interesting to see.

Tomorrow night we're going to see The Seagull. I'm so excited because we've spent so much time discussing it, performing etudes from it, analyzing it, finding questions and searching for answers about it. It's going to be great.

I, again, am exhausted. So, I am off to bed. Have a good evening/day. Whatever it is. :) See you all in 15ish days. PEACE